Aryan Review of Wolfenstein

Who else but me, a true Aryan and the master of Quake 3 Arena rocket launchers, should write a review of the new Wolfenstein. The writing, however, took a little longer – at first, the game simply wouldn’t download, then it glitched horribly and crashed straight to the desktop. I had to wait for the download, and the freezing glitches were only eliminated by temporarily disabling one of the two graphics cards.

Well, now there’s time to familiarize myself with other reviews and opinions, which, as luck would have it, all come from people with misshapen skulls, bald spots, and other Jewish attributes. For example, genetic trash claims that the game is essentially a “classic old shooter,” which clearly contradicts reality. A shooter with “joystick” controls cannot be classic, as I will explain below. And I don’t quite understand how this thought simultaneously materialized in more than ten articles, completely written by different authors in various languages, but oh well.

We ran out of bullets, let’s go hand-to-hand.

In 1960, the Nazis won the Second World War. Wait, no, I won’t give any spoilers, you can read about it yourself somewhere else or play the game. Let me tell you about the game itself.

The technical execution can be praised endlessly. The sounds of relentless battle never cease, and the thrilling music starts playing at the right time. The game delivers excellent graphics, and in the first few hours of gameplay, it simply shocks with its Nazi brilliance.

With its beauty, violence here becomes a real spectacle. And you know, perhaps this is one of the game’s drawbacks, which makes you believe in fantastic scientific and occult Nazi actions that never actually happened in reality.

The game is a kind of pipe with multiple branches and secret passages that will still lead you to the same destination. The game is simply filled with interesting details about the fictional world of victorious Nazism. The new Wolfenstein is more interesting not as a process of shooting various uber-creations of the craziest minds, but as a beautiful film with a fascinating narrative.

About controls. In some moments of the game, you need to press a combination of keys to perform some action, for example, to slip under a cyber-uber-dog so that it doesn’t make you its dinner. A tribute to fashion? Most likely yes, but it sometimes ruins the feeling of the game, as you die multiple times in the same moment just because you pressed the buttons not as the game wants. Items are not collected automatically, there are no tricks at all (except for the ability to periodically press the spacebar while holding down the shift), well, as it was in the good old classic shooters.

Enemies, even on the Uber difficulty, are not really Nazi-like and are relatively easy to kill, there is no challenge for old hardcore gamers. Well, they came up with a shortage of medkits and ammo, nothing more. And if you suddenly get tired, you can always switch the difficulty level to easier.

The game localization is simply excellent. The original English voice acting is left, just as I like it, and the subtitles are presented in Russian and translated very well.

Translation: “Good is in the details.”

I cannot rate the game highly for its console exclusivity. It deserves praise for its diverse gameplay, excellent story, and stunning graphics. Making entertainment out of the most significant mistake of humanity was probably not worth it. But without its Nazi entourage “Wolf would not be a wolf at all. Well, and the main question,” Is Blazhkovych Jewish?, or simply deceived by American propaganda, remains open.